Nighttime lights

I wanted to sleep. But my persistent headache kept me from it. So I find myself here once again to say a few words as my mind wanders.

Today was a hard day - one of the hardest in a while. But not because of the company or the job. No, it's a battle within myself that I must win. I'm surrounded by friends who would support me in anything, yet it is still a battle I must fight myself. Only one knows of it. Only one do I trust with knowing it.

Otherwise, things are going just as well as always. I've found that when traveling in the evenings, to lie back and stare up at the passing lights is mesmerizing. It sets my mind on a strange course, almost hypnotizing me into a dreamy kind of state between awake and sleep. And in that place, I find the things I am trying to work out... the things my heart won't often ponder in the daylight.

I hear the others saying that we are nearing our destination, so I should probably wrap this up. Until next time, it's on the road with me.

Fuel

A clear head. A clear mind. Clear vision. One would assume that the combination of clear senses would result in a clear plan for the future. But alas, it evades me again.

I am happy. I am enjoying the road and my friends. I love what I'm doing now. A year ago, I never would have thought that I would be anywhere but the Pizza Box, rolling dough and taking orders. So there, my wee brain!

And yet while the present is clear, the future is foggy. I have yet to figure out why. Perhaps it is the lack of contact with those at home lately. Perhaps it is the persistent twitch of my fingers and the nagging desire in the back of my mind to spill out the words that want to come. But I resist. I've taken a new path and I will stick with it. I am learning a lot - surely my prayers for wisdom did not lead me down the wrong route.

A bump in the road (literal) jolts me from my thoughts and I glance out the back window. I smile. Our shadow is still with us. Who knows how many others would have grown weary by now? Most journalists would write from a distant, using the information they're fed by others. But not Alice. No, she's a wild one, she is. But even with a wild side, she comes with a heart that knows no bounds. Alice, what would we do without you?

And thus, my entry comes to a close. We're pulling up to a gas station now. Prime time for a potty break and a good ol' mountain dew to refuel. Wooee!

Sleeplessness

Insomnia... my enemy, yet he sticks close tonight. I use him as an excuse to write though. The bus is quiet. I think everyone else is asleep. I look out the window to see the quiet jeep as well. Shadows need sleep too. Tomorrow night we'll have a hotel with real beds. I can't wait, and neither can the girls.

Haven't been on the road that long, but already I'm beginning to settle. It's routine now. But even routines can hold adventures, and the road certainly does that. Today's flat tire was proof of that. How many guys does it take to change one tire on a bus? Don't ask. Alice - don't put that in your next article!

Spirits are high and the energy doesn't seem to run out. It's like the momentum of the bus is an energy charger so we're constantly filling up. Nightly devotional times in the group has been a great encouragement as well.

Tomorrow we're climbing a bit north again. A wee bit cooler, but spring is everywhere. We're Breaking Out, and spring is too. I wonder what it smells like back home as the season changes. Hey, Jen, can you box up some Nevada air and send it to me in the mail? They say there's no place like home, and I believe it now. But really... I'm getting along well. I'm really loving the new sights every day and loving the cause we're traveling for. If there's one thing I'm thankful for right now, it's saying yes to Hunter's invitation.

Oh, look, a firefly. Well, I'm wide awake, why not him too? I think I'll go take a nighttime walk and see if that helps.