Now and Forward

How could I not love my job? Every day I get to spend with my circle of friends, laugh, talk and live. When we’re on the road I get to sit right next to my girl and take in every moment we have together. We get to be family. We get to have fun. We get to make other people smile and help kids know how to make good choices. It was tough starting out but… this is more than I could have asked for.

My past still lingers, but we’re all faced with forks in the road during our lives. I chose right instead of left and though it’s very different, I feel blessings every day. I try not to think about what could have been, but focus on what I am today and what tomorrow will bring.

We’re up north where the weather would be cooler, but it seems everywhere, the temperature is hot. What would we do without AC?

Looks like we’re ready to hit the road again. I better put my laptop away and get back on over to the awaiting red jeep.

Changes in the wind

Things change. Time passes. I haven't used this writing space as much as intended, but sometimes it's better just to sit back and not speculate so much on what is happening, and simply go with the flow.

Things are different. Not so much in a bad way, but in a good way. Ever since I hit the road with Break Out, I still felt alone. Surrounded by a group of friends, somehow, I still felt on the outside... like I just didn't belong. But all that's changed. Not only do I really feel this is where I should be, but I have someone alongside me, holding me up the whole way. Shadows are funny that way. We get so used to them being around that we don't realize we've fallen in love with them.

I could have gone back home, but as so gently told, it would have just been running away again. I don't know what all God intended back when I decided to join this team. But I know that without it, I wouldn't have grown in the areas that I have. I might not have Alice. I wouldn't have all of these daily experiences that have helped me draw closer to God, and learn more about myself.

I know I joke around a lot, but in all seriousness... being with Break Out has been a blessing. It's not what I imagined myself doing at this point in my life. But I'm loving it. Music has become a thing of the past... a passion lost somewhere between then and now. My future has changed. And I am happy. Thank God for the life I've got.

Now... where are those donuts that Jordan brought in for breakfast...

Nighttime lights

I wanted to sleep. But my persistent headache kept me from it. So I find myself here once again to say a few words as my mind wanders.

Today was a hard day - one of the hardest in a while. But not because of the company or the job. No, it's a battle within myself that I must win. I'm surrounded by friends who would support me in anything, yet it is still a battle I must fight myself. Only one knows of it. Only one do I trust with knowing it.

Otherwise, things are going just as well as always. I've found that when traveling in the evenings, to lie back and stare up at the passing lights is mesmerizing. It sets my mind on a strange course, almost hypnotizing me into a dreamy kind of state between awake and sleep. And in that place, I find the things I am trying to work out... the things my heart won't often ponder in the daylight.

I hear the others saying that we are nearing our destination, so I should probably wrap this up. Until next time, it's on the road with me.